Happy Mother's Day

Never take your mother for granted.

Just because today is Mother's Day,

doesn't mean it should be the only day

you express how much you appreciate her.

Be grateful.

She may not always be around.

Even if she has passed,

remember that you'll always have her

lessons, wisdom, love and presence with you.

Energy cannot be created, nor destroyed.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

to the most spectacular woman ever,

Christine Michelle Stransky.

Not a day passes that I don't think about,

and miss you.

~ 3/31/2012 ~

No Freedom 'til we're Equal

Anyone who knows me, has known me, or has gotten to know me via my blog or other social media, can probably tell that I'm openly gay. I wouldn't say I'm very transparent or an open book, but I don't go to any lengths to hide who I am, or act differently because of "Societal Norms". I am who I am, and that is that. But oddly enough, I've only been openly gay for about two years now... And I'm 20 years old now. So what about the first 18 years of my life? Well it wasn't easy...

I grew up in a loving family where we didn't make fun of people for being gay. My parents raised me to never disrespect or bully another person because of their religion, race, sexuality, gender, views, or actions. As a little boy I loved to play dress up with my cousins. I loved jewelry and high heels. I also loved hot wheels, batman, spiderman, bike riding, and camping. My parents always supported what I wanted to do (well as long as it was safe.. I was kind of an adventurous child so they had to keep an eye on me). I loved Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and all the 90s Boy Bands. I didn't learn that being gay was "wrong" from them. I learned it from Society.

I got teased a little in Elementary school because of what I liked. But it wasn't anything too harsh. I went to a really small elementary school so there wasn't ever really any problems. I did however learn that little boys liked little girls. That's just how it was, and that was the only way it was. If you didn't, then it was weird. Naturally, I liked the other girls as friends. And I started to assume that I probably "liked them-liked them" too. But I was always a little unsure. But I didn't really talk about it because it was "different".

Middle school is where most of my "lessons" came from. I was bullied right from the beginning. I was harassed by a ton of people. Every gay-bashing term in the book has been thrown at me at least once. That's when I learned that being gay had to be wrong. I stopped being so outgoing. I tried to blend in as much as possible to avoid being hurt again. I repressed all my feelings. And that followed me through high school. I had repressed my feelings so much that it became normal. Being gay was just a "phase" and I had to eventually grow out of it.

Eventually, I realized I never would. My senior year, I started to come to terms. I had to end a relationship with an extremely sweet girl that I was dating. I slowly started telling people. Those people who were truly my friends stuck by my side. Others left. And I'm okay with that now. But I waited until the very end of my senior year to FINALLY stop hiding who I was...

18 years. It took me that long to tell my family and friends. It took me that long to stop "hating" myself and thinking I was "wrong" or "confused". Why? Because that's what society "Taught" me! If other children  had been raised as I was, and laws didn't intentionally discriminate against homosexuals, we would essentially wipe away this attitude that being gay is wrong. It starts with you, and it has to start now. We're only hurting ourselves and hurting other people.

I had to hide from myself for so long because I was so afraid of loosing everyone. It was almost as if I had to decide if I was going to continue hiding, or enter into battle and be publicly out. And today, I'm more than happy with myself. I've never been so comfortable in my own skin. I still feel as though I had to waste so much of my life caring about this though. So much stress, hurt, and conflict.. All of which could have been avoided. And I know many other people share similar stories, and even harder ones. No one should have to go through that.

We're not born knowing how to "hate". We're taught it. So stop spreading this hate. Stop telling people their lifestyle is "wrong" and preaching this idea of inequality. Stop acting as though this whole thing will just calm down and resolve itself. Stop pushing this issue to the back of the agenda because its "not important". It is. Because as long as laws are still in place that prohibit a group of people from doing something that everyone else is allowed to do, we're still training society to believe that it is wrong.

Stop the hate and spread the love. Marriage equality isn't a choice, it's a necessity. Everyone should be free to love who they want, and marry them if they wish. Why restrict love and keep promoting hate? The more love we allow, the more love we spread. One day, I hope I can raise my child in society that teaches them to love whoever they want without judgement or feelings of wrongdoing. I want to raise him/her in a society that advocates love instead of hate and discrimination. Don't you?

No Free Until We're Equal <3

The Dragonfly

So here is my new dragonfly tattoo. I got it in memory of my mother who passed away almost a year ago, march 31st 2012. She loved dragonflies. They were her favorite! And now that she isn't grounded here on this planet anymore, she is able to fly free. Here is the story of the dragonfly too. I think it fits perfectly.

The Dragonfly
Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads,there lived a little water beetle in a community of waterbeetles.  They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pondwith few disturbances and interruptions.Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one oftheir fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad andwould never be seen again.  They knew when this happened; theirfriend was dead, gone forever.Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urgeto climb up that stem.  However, he was determined that he wouldnot leave forever.  He would come back and tell his friends whathe had found at the top.When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto thesurface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt sowarm, that he decided he must take a nap.  As he slept, his bodychanged and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautifulblue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender bodydesigned for flying.So, fly he did!  And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a wholenew world and a far superior way of life to what he had neverknown existed.Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinkingby now he was dead.  He wanted to go back to tell them, andexplain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever beenbefore.  His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.But, his new body would not go down into the water.  He couldnot get back to tell his friends the good news.  Then heunderstood that their time would come, when they, too, wouldknow what he now knew.  So, he raised his wings and flew offinto his joyous new life!
~Author Unknown~

Scream & Shout

Well Obviously I LOVE BRITNEY SPEARS. And if you all didn't already know (which I'm dissapointed in you if you didn't) her new video with Will.I.Am Scream and Shout premiered tonight! It was premiered on The X Factor, which she judges with Simon Cowell, Demi Lovato <3, and L.A. Reid. The song dropped last week I believe (it leaked a little early) and they did a pretty good job at keeping the video from leaking before the premier. I actually don't watch the X Factor, which is terrible of me since I love Britney and Demi, but I promise I'm going to try and catch up from the beginning or something, whenever I get the free time. I actually missed the premier of the video too because I was in class. School comes first! But fortunately it was posted on the XFactor website, Vevo, and Youtube right after the premier so I raced back to my dorm and watched it.

The song: At first, I wasn't a fan. I thought it was a little boring but maybe because Britney's name was on it, I was just expecting more girly pop. But since Will.I.Am is the main and it just features Britney (which is a term I use loosely since she owns everything she's in) it was more toward his style. After a few listens, it grew on me, then I became obsessed with it as I usually do. There's no real significance in the lyrics. Its just a fun song you'd probably rock out to at the club. The lyrics pretty much just say how when they go to the club, everyone's looking at them and that they don't want the party to stop because it's just so much fun. I think what really did it for me though was the infamous Britney line. I'm SO GLAD they put "Britney Bitch" in the song. 

"It's Britney Bitch"

Brief history lesson: 

Her now legendary catch phrase came about with Gimme More, which is one of my top fave Britney songs. Since she had been out of the scene for awhile, she needed some kind of a catch phrase to get back into the biz. Story pretty much goes that while she was recording (mind you, pregnant with her second child) she came in at the wrong time and Jim Beanz said something to the music engineer, Lago, along the lines of "I don't have to come in when I want, It's Britney Bitch". Originally her producer didn't think she would like the phrase but she loved it! And then they kicked off Gimme More with the phrase and BOOM. Here we are today.

The Video: 

I thought it was really well constructed. Very contrasty, very glam, very edgy too. I thought it was fun and hot too. But obviously, being in the fashion industry, I'll be critiquing outfits. Mostly Britney's though because I was obsessed with how fabulous she looked!!

I just didn't like the obvious product placement and such... That was kind of lame but I guess you gotta fund these fabulous outfits somehow, right? But I liked the simple gold decorations and the disco globes. 

Okay so this is what opened up. Well the bottom-left picture. Her hair is huge! Hahah.

Black, shiny, leather, the makeup. Love it all. I think the high waisted shirt looked fabulous on her,

and I love the leather top that has the sleeves. 

The gold accessories are totally hot too! All about it. 

Kind of wish the shoes were a little flashy and glittery during her poses.

I think it would have added a little more glam to her.

YES. YES. YES. YES.

This feathery onsie is SO cute. Literally dying.

Especially when she was holding the flaming disco balls.

WERK GIRL.

Belted shoes definitely add some edginess that I enjoyed.

I included the shoes in the upper-right corner just because I thought they were cute.

 And a little about everyone else. I thought the dancer's were all dressed very street,

which is obviously typical of dancers

I liked how everything was cohesive too and the colors all flowed nicely.

Top-left jacket- someone buy me this for christmas PAH-LEASE

And the hat on the bottom left is also pretty raw.

I'm not a hat person, but I like when other people wear hats.

I just don't like them on myself.

Here's the Video. 

Enjoy

I THINK I FOUND MY CAREER

So if you know me personally, you know I've been struggling with a career choice for quite some time now. Not a big deal seeing as I'm in my third semester now at the Fashion Institute of Technology and still have 2 1/2 years ahead of me. But since I get my BAS degree in Fashion Merchandising Management next spring, I've been freaking out a little since I've been so lost on career opportunities.

Last semester I actually signed up for an internship course and started going through the necessary steps of finding an internship through the career center at my school. I even began sending out a couple applications early on. However, when I began to realize that I didn't really know what I wanted to apply for because I didn't know what I wanted to do, and was just sending out applications regarding the typical career paths a student in my major would choose, I had a mental breakdown.

Long story short, I emailed my career counselor, told her I was sorry but I was done looking for an internship and was dropping the course. I mean, why intern for a position I know nothing about and might wind up absolutely hating right? I'm not one to blindly go into things. I like to have some sort of game plan or some sort of knowing before I begin.

While I was trying to find a class that compensated for the internship credit requirement, I noticed that my career counselor offered a Career Development class. She's a fantastic lady and one of my favorite faculty members at the school so I of course decided to look up the description of the class. Pretty much, the description told me that this class was all about finding yourself and finding out what career opportunities are available to you, and what would work well with your personality. BINGO. That's what I needed! So I enrolled (plus, it didn't hurt that it fit in really nicely with my schedule).

**Side note- I keep misspelling opportunities and have to correct it and I don't know why... I also misspelled "misspelling" while typing this.... **

So throughout the course our professor had us go through a couple assessments of our personality which then gave us a holland code and an MBTI code (which I won't get in to). From there we found out about who we are, what kind of things interest us, what stimulates us, and what environments help us thrive to the best of our potential. She also made us really analyze our skill sets and figure out what they are. I realized I had way more skills than I even though. A program we used even helped match us up to potential careers that might interest us.

From this course I noticed that I'm very creative (duh) and very math inclined (another duh). But I found that even though numbers and logistics stimulate me, I need to balance it out a lot with creative work and using my skills to bring my imagination to life. I also found that I can't be at a desk all day working a typical 9-5. I'd hate that. I also found that I'm probably going to be working long hours, but I do that already and I like to be busy. It helps me work better.

So after all this learning, self assessment, self realization, guidance, and research, I've finally discovered that I still don't entirely know what I want to be. But that's okay. I have found some career choices that interest me such as Merchandise Coordinator. I'd work for a certain company (Polo, Guess, Armani, etc.) and oversee their areas in major department stores like Macys. I'd help plan the merchandise to be brought in that would sell to the target customers in the area, set up displays that reflect the company and display merchandise in a creative way, and help lead and educate the sales team who specializes in that brand. I'd be doing this for a few department stores so my environment would always be changing, and with change of season comes new merchandise and new set-ups. I'd also get to use my math skills with creating the merchandising plans and sales goals. Best of both worlds.

From there maybe I want to get into being a creative director or a fashion director. Those are definitely positions for the more experienced, but in the future, I think I could handle it. So that's one of my goals in this industry. I want to do well and make a name for myself. But most of all, I want to find what I love and be passionate about my job. How can I fail if I'm passionate about what I do and put all my heart into it? I can't. As long as I'm happy and keep pushing myself, I know I'll be successful.

So there's my little spiel about my career life and what's been going through my mind so far here in New York City. Its a tough world, but I think I'm learning to ropes and I think I'm going to make it here. Its sink or swim, and I'm prepared to swim, no matter what tough waters come my way. Mama didn't raise a quitter, that's for sure. Again, I owe it all to her. Without her teachings from birth, I wouldn't be as well rooted and strong as I am today. And I can't thank her enough or be more grateful that I was able to have a mother as fantastic and wise as her. She taught me all she needed to in just nineteen short years. And the only reason fate allowed her to be taken away from me, is because fate knew I could handle this, and I could make it. All because of you Mama, all for you. I know I'm making you proud, and you just wait to see what's to come. So much more. I got this. Finally.

Predetermined Paths vs. Creating Your Trail

My Professor in my career development course has been giving us quotes to reflect on and write reactions to while we read through "Roadtrip Nation". This quote kind of spoke out to me and kind of helped me realize that being a little selfish in life isn't always a bad thing. Sometime we need to listen to ourself and do what we want to do, regardless of what anyone else thinks. 

“Do not go where the path may lead… go instead where there is no path and leave a trail”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

            While you are growing up, everyone is going to set a “path” for you. A predetermined route that they think is best for you. “Oh you love to draw so you should be an architect!” “You know, since you like to argue to much and you're pretty clever, you should try getting into law school. Lawyers make great money.” “I bet you’d make a great pharmacist since you’ve got the brain for it.” Even though they might not come right out and tell you what you “need” to do, everyone is always making suggestions and indirectly pressuring you to make the “right” decision. But in the end, the path that they might want for you might not be the best path for you. You know yourself better than anyone else. Only you know what kind of things TRULY make you happy. So then why do we keep following these trails that everyone else lays down for us? Why do we keep trying to make everyone else happy, when we ourselves might be miserable? They don’t live your life, you do. And you only get one shot at it. So even if they want you to be a lawyer or an architect, you have to do what YOU want to do. Make yourself happy even if it’s considered a little offbeat. Because once you set out on your own idea and clear the way, all while doing it purely for yourself, you’ll create your own trail. And ultimately, that trail will lead you to inner happiness; a kind of happy that can only be found when you follow your own heart, your own instinct, and your own thoughts.

Proenza Schouler Spring 2013

For starters, I appologize for lacking so much on my posts! I think this might be my first post in a couple months.... (oh dear). BUT to make it up, I'm going to be posting a new blog update every day for the next week (well at least trying to).

SO Spring 2013 Fashion Week in NYC kicked off a few days ago and we've been hearing the buzz all over. What's hot, what's not, and what's actually innovative. One show that I've been hearing a ton about has been the Proenza Schouler show. It seems as though this house has blown up practically overnight. I was a little skeptical because I didn't particularly enjoy their show last season. But I admit, I had a change of heart this season! If I don' like a show, I'll be the first to say so. But this season was phenomenal.

The line incorporated a lot of neon colors and mixed those with some reptile prints, creating some patchwork kind of garments. Of course there was a lot of leather use; especially bright, glossy colored leathers. The models possessed a rocker vibe, but still came off feminine. I also noticed a lot of exposed zippers, which I've been seeing all around lately. And why not? Why hide it? Zippers are awesome. We also saw a lot of boxier silhouettes instead of hourglass. However, since the models' legs were exposed, it still kept the essence of femininity. And can I just quickly say that the leather, knee high, black leather shoes.... OH MY GOD. I'd wear those. They were so fierce. Again, we see a lot of experimentation with prints and types of knit on the garments, and I think he brought it together very well. All the edgy prints were toned done with some solids that came together nicely. However, some of the dresses did have a ton of print. Yet it wasn't very compact prints, it was more so enlarged to show detail and I have to admit, I loved it. I'm not a huge print-lover, but this looked incredible. And if you look closely, you can even see a lot of photography printed on the garments such as faces, the beach, people swimming, etc. WHICH I LOVED. Blown away...
HERES SOME PICS :D

Okay so here's the first look.
See what I mean by the reptile prints?
But it's toned down by the use of that yellow-green color.
Also, that white skirt with the accenting is so Gorgeousss.

Again we see the same kind of look.

But this time with a more turqouise reptile print,

and a very soft, neonish blue.

I think I liked this one a little more. 

Okay so here's the boxier silhouette,
made possible by the jacket.
But you can still see the femininity due to the
legs poking out from the bottom.
I loved the jacket, which had the same kind of
accenting going on from the skirt above. 

THESE SHOES.

I can't.

That's it.

Okay so again, here we are with the printing,
but its still toned down with the blocking done.
I have to say, I'm not a huge fan of the red.
I wish it was maybe a different shade?
Maybe more of a darker maroon?
Maybe that's just because I'm excited for fall....

Okay, like I said, I'm not a huge fan of print.

BUT, look at this!

Its incredible.

Its enlarged to show detail and the way it flows

is just phenomenally gorgeous.

I also love the little cut-out on the right side

by her hip, which causes the pattern to

flow around it.

Almost like a winding river.

It kind of looks like tire tracks a bit too, no?

And again... THOSE SHOES.

Someone get those for me, please.

Here we are with the satin blue blocking,
and the sheen black.
And if you look closely at the print,
its a bunch of faces.
Almost like a crowded public area (Probably NYC).
But it works!
From far away it blends so perfectly.
And up close its even better!

When I first saw the top, I hated it.

But after revisiting it, its growing on me.

I think because I LOVE mixing blue and green.

Its always been my favorite combination of color...

for some odd reason.

And I like how the swimming pool print and the

green print is toned down a little with that black and 

white print cutting through.

Also, that skirt is killer. 

Loved it. 

THIS is my favorite look from the whole collection.
Its a giant print of a swimming area,
but I love how it starts out with red dots around the top.
I can't really describe it, but I just love the switch from
red to blue.
I love the pattern, and I love the silhouette.
Plus, its also a conservative dress since it doesn't show off
any cleavage and stops at the knee.
FAVE.

I also really loved this dress too.

Probably because of the mix of blue and green.

And probably because I love the beach..

I really hope they make some men's dress shirts like this.

If not, I'm going to go try to make my own.

Love it. 

Well, that is all! 

Thanks for reading through!
See you tomorrow!

(hopefully....)

<3